Believing is Seeing.
It’s not about the proof.
Way, way back when I was studying organic chemistry in college, I got to do a lot of neat experiments in the labs. If I didn’t have some knowledge of what was going on in those little glass tubes, the processes that occurred before my very eyes would have seemed wildly inexplicable: I started with one compound, fiddled around with it for a while, and bang! I had a different compound. But chemistry isn’t magic (as much as I liked feeling like a wizard). It’s studying the ways that things react and understanding the mechanics of those reactions. And if I couldn’t explain those reactions in my reports, I would be docked points.
It’s not so nitpicky when it comes to faith. When we experience graces from God, whether big or small, we often don’t have the vocabulary to fully articulate what’s going on. It’s great to be able to understand and explain things within our personal journey with God, so seeking to comprehend those experiences is a wonderful thing to do. But sometimes we find ourselves saying what the man born blind says in our Gospel today: “All I know is that I was blind, and now I see. This Jesus fellow showed up, put clay on my eyes, and told me to go wash them. I was one way, and now I’m another.”
And like this healed man, others may see the change and express some disbelief: “How did this happen? This can’t really be legit, right? We know who you really are. Spill it, what’s the angle you’re working here?” These kinds of interrogations may seem daunting. Perhaps they even instill fear or doubt: “Maybe this isn’t real. Am I just imagining this? I’ve changed! Why doesn’t anyone believe me?” But whether others believe him or not, the man born blind was seeing everything crystal clear: he could see. He didn’t need to understand it or prove it to anyone. He doesn’t believe because he sees; he sees because he believes.
Don’t allow others’ skepticism to rob you of the joy of God’s gifts. Not being able to explain a grace from God doesn’t invalidate or lessen it. If anything, the simple, grateful acceptance of it is all you need. Faith is belief in what is unseen. Trust that God’s gifts to you are real, not because you can see them clearly, but because they just are. God isn’t going to dock you points for not understanding them. Rather, you can be like Mary Magdalene after her own conversion at the beginning of The Chosen: “I don’t understand it myself. But here is what I can tell you: I was one way, and now I am completely different. And the thing that happened in between was Him.”
-Br. Andrew
