Always begin again.
When I first heard that I was headed to Florida, I had a mixed reaction. In a sense, I felt excited and nervous at the same time. Questions from such emotions arose: Why is God leading me to go to Florida, where it is mostly humid and sunny? Am I going to be happy and fulfilled there during the year? How am I going to serve the people of God? Will Mary, Fr. Lanteri, and Jesus ever going to confirm my Oblate vocation? And, just as pressing: Where am I going to get my taco fix?
Surprisingly, that last question was the first one answered. There’s a taco truck near the beach, just off a busy road. Sitting quietly on a plastic stool and enjoying perfectly seasoned tacos in the thick Florida humidity, something unexpected happened. That simple moment of satisfaction opened the door to deeper answers because this gently unfolded into a natural response of gratitude.
From the very start, I was welcomed warmly by Fr. Tom, my superior and the pastor of San Pedro, and by Fr. Nate. They encouraged me to assist in different ministries and programs within the parish. Just to name a few: Youth group, Young Adults, OCIA, TMIY, Religious Education, parish fundraisers, parish mission, Senior Life ministries, and even a little clean up from the various hurricanes that passed through the area. I even had the great opportunity to lead a 10-Week Spiritual Exercises retreat, something close to my heart, as it was through a similar retreat at St. Peter Chanel Parish in California that my faith was rekindled.
But more than just giving me responsibilities, these two Oblate brothers gave me something invaluable: the freedom to be an Oblate brother with them. That freedom allowed me to fully receive Mary’s invitation to be her Oblate, and to respond with a wholehearted YES! A yes that is joyful, generous, courageous, and freely given.
With this yes in mind, one moment from the pastoral year that resonated with me the most is when I was accompanying a parish men’s group through Exodus 90. Exodus 90 is a program for 90 days for men to grow in freedom, fraternity, and brotherhood. During our initial gathering while we were praying, God led me to realize that I was leading this group of fathers through this program. Then I was struck with this image: “I am now a father to these fathers.” That image both consoled and challenged me. A new question rose up: Am I truly worthy to be a father? Am I worthy to be a priest?
I knew my history: failures before entering religious life, and even failures as a religious brother. That sense of unworthiness overwhelmed me. When I was praying with the potential gift of the vocation as a religious priest, I was so aware of my unworthiness. I was kneeling and weeping in front of the Blessed Sacrament, so discouraged by these negative doubts. In this prayer, I imagined the founder, Fr. Bruno Lanteri, kneeling beside me. I turned to him and told him, “I can’t possibly live up to the image of a father who never fails. This is just not me. I’ve failed so many times, and I can never be a father who never fails.” He drew me in closer, placing his hand on my shoulder, and gently tells me “Miggo, I never wanted you to be a Father who never fails. Rather, I want you to be a Father who never fails… to always begin again.”
That moment, Fr. Lanteri’s words, the grace of that image, and the overwhelming tenderness of God, crystallized everything. It was the grace of experiencing the invitation of Nunc Coepi, Lanteri’s spirituality of always beginning again. Everything I experienced in Florida, every question, every doubt, every act of ministry, found its answer in that one grace.
And for that, I am deeply, deeply grateful.
To all those who supported me through generous material support and through your prayers, thank you. You helped me receive this grace. As I continue and finish strong in my studies and prepare for a lifelong commitment of joyful service with the Oblates, I carry this pastoral year with me not only as a time of formation, but as a season marked by the sacred joy of beginning again. And above all, I carry it with a heart full of gratitude. Thank you and God bless you!
-Br. Miggo, OMV
